Alright, people, let’s do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last 22 years, I thought I was the one and only... Spider-Man. What a day. I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see... I saved the city, fell in love, I got married, saved the city some more, maybe too much, my marriage got testy, made some dicey money choices, don’t invest in a Spider-themed restaurant...
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Why my parents so old and stupid fuck off